Sickness in the Public Schools Conspiracy

I had convinced myself that it was too late in the season to cover this blog's topic, but now believe this is most timely due to the H1N1 frenzy. Have you ever considered why you are rarely ill during the summer months? Life experiences have led me to believe this is mostly due to public schools being out of session. Children are not as careful as adults to avoid the obvious (keeping your hands away from your mouth & nose), and wind up as the unsuspecting living targets of "The Sickness in Public Schools Conspiracy". Let me illustrate with the following diagram:

1. Doctor Joe experiences less income in the summer months due to schools being out of session. Joe hobnobs with Charlie Lobbyist during a backyard cookout, and influence$ his decision to lobby for more school days at the next congressional session. Year round calendar? Sure, why not.

2. The plan pa$$e$ with flying colors, and the School Board is informed that in order to receive full funding for the new school year, it had better comply with the required attendance increase.

3. Johnny now has little more than two months of summer vacation, and is exposed to nearly ten months of the finest germs available in the Public School System.

4. More trips for Johnny to see Doctor Joe, a good return on investment.

And here is the real proof of the whole conspiracy: the Public School System charges Johnny with an unexcused absence unless he has an official note from.... Doctor Joe!

Seriously, though - I would support and be relieved to have the school year terminated earlier this year to reduce the spread of the H1N1 virus.